He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
