He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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