Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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