Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
