I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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