I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
