I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
