I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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