Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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