How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
