hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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