I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
