So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
