why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
