we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
