what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
