I want to have your abortion
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize