Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
