I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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