would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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