I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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