im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Will exercising make me less horny?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
