You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
