Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
