So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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