I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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