sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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