Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
