Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
