it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
