You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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