conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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