do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
