Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
