Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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