I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
