where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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