I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
