That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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