You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
