dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
