yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
