"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think my tv is drunk
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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