god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
