party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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