he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So here I am, sexting at work.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize