Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
