i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize