I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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