yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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