I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
