saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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