do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
