he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
