Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize