I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
