You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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