Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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