Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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