Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
