So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
