it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
